its not stalking. its research.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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