omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize