Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
