the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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