u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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