you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
