Having a random hookup so left but love u
People in love make me want to vomit
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
