yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize