I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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