watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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