Where is the hickey?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
