Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and she was petting her beer can
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
