You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
