Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
