lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
