what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
