she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
