I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
