Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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