I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
