The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize