shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
