3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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