I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
