Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
