you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
