I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
