I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize