oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
