i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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