Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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