Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A+ Viking dick
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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