And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
