I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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