i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
