he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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