There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
