I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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