Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize