you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
