I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
