Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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