I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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