i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
