apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
