If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
