Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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