high people should be assigned attendants
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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