is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
