god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
