just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
