Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
