my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize