OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
