Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think I sprained my soul last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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