Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
