he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
