Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
