well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
