when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
