Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
