How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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