we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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