If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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