Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
