We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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