is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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